1. The husband made a salary and took home to prepare for his wife.
He said to his wife, "My dear, I have paid my salary. I will give you my money."
His wife has remained indifferent. The husband saw no response from his wife.
He shouted again: "If you don't come again, I will find someone to serve me and give her all the money."
The wife replied indifferently: "If you dare to go, how do you spend the money, and I will earn it back."
2. The wife suddenly asked her husband: "Do you love me?" "Love, of course love!" The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought about it and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?" The husband said quickly: "No, no, I was afraid that you would harm me."
3. Xiao Ming's mathematics was not transferred to a church school by his parents. Six months later, the mathematics score is all A. My mother asked: “Is it good to teach nuns? Is the teaching material good? Is it prayer?…” “None,” Xiao Ming said. “On the first day of school, I saw a man crucified above the plus, and I Know…they are playing real games."
4. In the public toilet, I suddenly heard someone talking in the toilet room: "Do you have any toilet paper?"
I rolled over my pocket: "I'm sorry, no."
After a few seconds, the man again asked, "Is there a small newspaper?"
I smiled helplessly: "I'm sorry, no, I just come to urinate."
After a few seconds, a RMB10 RMB was emptied into the toilet room door: “Can you replace me with 10 sheets?”
I handed over the money and a roar came from the toilet room: "You don't give me ten coins!"
5. Twenty years ago, Dad was holding you waiting for a car. Everybody was laughing. The child was ugly. Dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Big brothers don't cry. Take a banana and eat it for the monkeys! What a pity. No hungry."
6. Saying that a lady was on the rise, she bought a female parrot. Unexpectedly, in the homecoming, the first sentence it said was: "Want to go to bed with me?"
When the woman listened to her, she thought: If it was broken, the outsider thought that this was what I taught. This does not destroy my lady's image. So she tried every means to make the parrot say something elegant, but the mother parrot was ironic, saying only: "Would you like to go to bed with me?"
……How to do it? When the woman lost her claim, I heard that the priest also had a parrot (public). The parrot, not only did not speak foul language, but was a devoted believer who prayed for most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. When the priest understood her intentions, she said with awkwardness: "This is very difficult to do. Actually, the parrot did not deliberately teach it. It is so devout that it may have been bred here for a long time. Sake it."
When the priest saw Ms. Lost, she said, “That way, you brought the parrot to me and I put them together. I hope that after a while, your parrot can be transformed. I can only do this. If there is no effect, look at God's will…"
When a woman listens, it can only be this way. There is not a saying: is it nearly red? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest put together two parrots according to his promise. At the beginning, the female parrot was still a bit restrained. To see the parrot in the corner of the cage, to silently pray, I really could not bear to bother. But she couldn't help herself and finally said in a loud voice: "Would you like to go to bed with me?"
When the parrot heard this, it stopped its prayers and turned to look at its mother parrot. Suddenly the tears fell like rain: "Thank God, my wish for prayer for so many years has finally come true…"
7. When the youth treked through the mountains and went through obstacles, they finally found the Zen master who was hiding in the mountains. He could not wait to ask: “I’m ugly. What should I do?”
"If you grow ugly, you should be like me."
The young man nodded: "Is my heart just like water?"
"No, if we grow ugly, we must hurry to find a mountain to hide behind like me."
8. My daughter, formerly more than 140 jins, has now lost her weight.
One day I was ready to go out and could not find the phone. So I took the dad phone and called me and called Daddy on the phone to show the words "big fat pig".
9. Suddenly there was a power outage. "It's really annoying to let people not live on a hot day," I complained.
The son said with a smile: "I think the blackout is also very good."
When he heard this, he became even more angry: "If you are hot, what are the benefits of blackouts? You will know what you say!"
My son bowed my head and whispered: "I don't need to do my homework when I'm out of power…"
10. The fisherman returned from fishing at night and saw his son kissing the girl in the neighbor's house in a fishing net. The fisherman asked in an angry tone: What are you doing?
The child smiled and said: Dad, you do not understand, we are called online dating!
11. A school to buy learning materials, we are all 7 dollars, I want to spend a little money to spend a mouth will be 10, and the mother did not believe me, ran to ask the same classmates across the house, at that time that heart You almost tell the truth.
I did not expect Mom to say: "I didn't listen to the teacher when I was in class, but they were 12!"
12. The subway is overcrowded, but those girls would rather stand still than sit beside me. I didn't even sit until I arrived. "Isn't it because my handsome let them fawn and dare not come near me? Shouldn't we wear a mask to go out next time?"
I reflect on the socks as I prepare to get out of the car.
13. After unremitting efforts, I quit the habit of playing mobile phones before going to bed, but I don't know how long I can hold on and I can't sleep forever.
14. – Research shows that the ordering of Chinese characters is not definite to read and read. For example, when you read this sentence, the characters in the present are all confused.
15. One evening on the bank of the river, Ah Q said to his new girlfriend: I can say a word to make you laugh. Girlfriend said no. At that time, Ah Q came to a Haba dog and slammed on the ground, only to hear a shout: Hey. As a result, all the heard people laughed. Ah Q returned to his girlfriend and shouted: Mom.
16. A man ran into the car and hurriedly said: "A lady in the next room was fainted. Who took whiskey?"
Passengers quickly took out whiskey.
The man took it. He took a few big gulp, and then returned the bottle to the passengers: "Thank you so much. I've seen this lady faint. It's much better."
17. On the first day, the white rabbit went fishing on the river and did not catch anything. It went home.
The next day, the white rabbit went fishing on the river, or did not catch anything and went home.
On the third day, the white rabbit just came to the river and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the white rabbit:
If you fucking dare to use Hu Du Bu Bai bait, I will die you flat!
18. Customer: "How can you sell your wine without alcohol?"
The waiter took it and said: "Ah, I'm sorry, I forgot to add wine to you."