1. The husband is paid, take home and prepare to please his wife.
said to his wife, “my dear, I’m paid. Kiss me and give you the money.
‘s wife is slow and indifferent. A husband has no reaction to his wife.
shouted again: “if you don’t come again, I’ll look for someone to wait on me and give her all the money.” “If you dare to go, how do you spend the money, I’ll make it back,”
‘s wife replied in a light way.
2. His wife suddenly asked her husband, “do you love me?” “Love, of course love!” The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought and asked, “are you afraid to hurt me?” The husband hurried to say, “no, no, I’m afraid you hurt me.”
3. Xiao Ming was not well taught to be transferred to a church school by his parents. The math results were all A after half a year. Mother asked, “is a nun good to teach?” Is it a good textbook? Is it praying? “No,” Xiao Ming said. “On the first day of school, I saw a man nailed to the number, and I knew… They’re really playing. ”
4. In the public toilet, someone suddenly heard someone talking in the toilet: “do you have a hand paper?”
I turned over my pocket. “Sorry, no.”
after a few seconds, the man asked, “is there a small newspaper?”
I had a helpless smile, “I’m sorry, no, I just came to the urination.” After a few seconds after
, a 10 yuan of RMB was put out in the latrine door. “Can you change me to 10 1 pieces?”
I handed over the money and a roar in the toilet: “you don’t give me ten coins!”
5. 20 years ago, Dad held you to wait for the car. Everyone jokes that the child is ugly. Dad cried. A banana old man clapped his father and said: “the big brother does not cry, take a banana for the monkey to eat!” It’s poor, hungry. ”
6. Then a woman rose and bought a parrot. I didn’t think of taking home. The first thing it said was, “do you want to go to bed with me?” Ms.
heard, thought: it was bad, the stranger thought this was my teaching, which did not destroy the image of my lady. So she tried to make up the parrot’s elegant things, but the mother parrot was iron heart, and only said, “do you want to go to bed with me?”
… What shall I do? When the lady lost her mind, she heard that the priest also had a parrot (male), and the parrot was not only a rude word but rather a devout person, who prayed most of the day. So the lady went to the priest for help. After father understands her errand, looking slightly difficult to say: “this, very difficult ah, in fact, the parrot, wasn’t trying to teach it to what it is so devout, may be long in this education because of it.” The
priest saw the lady lost and said, “well, you bring the parrot to me, and I put them together. It is hoped that after a period of time, your parrot can be changed. I can only do this, if there is no effect, look at the will of God… ”
lady, also only so, instead of saying: ‘? Try it. So she took the parrot to the priest. The priest put the two parrots together in accordance with his promise. At first, the parrot was still somewhat restrained to see the parrot in the corner of the cage and praying silently. But she was not himself, finally declared: “I want to go to bed? “
male parrots that stopped praying, turned to look at the female parrots, suddenly burst into tears:” thank God, I pray for so many years has come true at last……”
7. Youth travel the mountains, many dangers, finally found the master of seclusion in the mountains, he eagerly asked: “I am ugly, how should I do?”
“should be as ugly as I do.”
nodded: “young Xinruzhishui, alone?”
“no, the ugly will be like me to find a deep mountain to hide.”
8. My girl, before more than 140 pounds, now slim down.
was ready to go out without finding a phone call, so he telephones my dad on the phone. He used to call the old man on the phone to show the three words “big fat pig” beautifully.
9. Suddenly the power cut off, “the day of great heat, let not let a person live, really annoying.” I complain. “I think the blackout is good,”
‘s son said with a smile.
heard him say so, even more angry: “hot, blackout what are the benefits? I know that nonsense!”
‘s son, as I was trained to lower his head, murmured, “I don’t have to do the homework…”
10. The fisherman came back to the fish at night and saw his son and her neighbour’s girl in a fishing net. The fisherman asked, “what are you doing?”
smile, said: Dad, you do not understand, we are called online love!
11. Once a school bought the learning materials, all of them were 7 yuan. In order to allow myself to spend a mouths with my pocket money, I asked for 10 yuan, so my mother didn’t believe me and ran around to ask the classmates at home.
did not think that the mother came back and said: “a class will not listen to the teacher lectures, people are clearly 12 pieces!”
12. The subway is overcrowded, but the girls would rather stand than sit by me. Until I got to the station, no one was sitting. “Don’t let them surprise because my handsome and afraid to come near me? Next time, should I wear a mask to go out?
I put my socks on and prepared to get off and reflect on it.
13. After unremitting efforts, I quit the habit of playing mobile phones before going to bed, but I don’t know how long I can stick to, and I can’t go to sleep all my life.
14. – the study shows that the sequence of Chinese characters is not definite to read and read, for example, when you finish this sentence, the words in this present are all messy.
15. One evening in a small river, to his new girlfriend ah q: can I speak a word to make you laugh. The girlfriend said no. Ah Q then went to the front of a eight ha dog, with a splash down, just listen to the sound of shouting: dad. The results from all the speech set the whole room roaring with laughter. Ah Q came back to his girlfriend and shouted: Mom.
16. A man ran into the car and exclaimed, “there’s a lady in the next compartment, and who has whisky?” Soon some of the
passengers came up with whisky.
the man took it. He drank a few big mouths, then returned the bottle to the passenger and said, “thank you so much. I can see the lady fainting. It’s much better.”
17. On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, did not catch anything, and went home.
second days, the little white rabbit went to the river and fishing, or nothing to catch, go home.
on the third day, the small white rabbit just to the river, a big jump out from the river, rushed to a small rabbit exclaimed:
fuck you if you dare to use carrots as bait, I will kick you to death!
18. Customer: “how do you do not sell alcohol alcohol?”
waitress took a sniff, “Oh, I’m sorry to forget to give you a drink.”