When I returned home at the end of last year, my heart was expecting. After all, I have not returned home for two years. In the past two years, it was not possible to go home for more than one class. In fact, if you want to go home, you can do so. One of the more important reasons is that my grandfather and grandfather are not in their hometowns, and they have less reason to go home. Another important reason is that after growing up, you can no longer find childhood taste. At this point, the significance of a reunion dinner was gone in my heart.
From Chengdu to Neijiang, it took more than four hours to drive. I was embarrassed and dizzy. When the car was driven into the village concrete road, everything familiar with the window gave me a lift. I close my window and watch as affective as a person who is away from home. All this is in front of me, how simple my hometown is! How serious is me!
In this way, looking at everything I was familiar with, my mood slowly calmed down. Just simply watched, occasionally paying attention to whether people came to know before, and occasionally watching the ducks leisurely swim in the paddy field. This feeling made me feel the truth at this moment, just like every time I walked here, I never knew that passing was worth remembering. Like the people growing up here, I am the life of the water and soil. I have come from here with every drop of blood in my body. It will also rot here into mud.
Along the way, my brother and my parents met the acquaintances and greeted them with a warm welcome. This kind of greeting was different from the ones I had seen. My parents’ greetings are from the heart. I can feel them from their expressions and their voices. And I don't really like to talk. It looks a bit cold. Actually, I just don't know how to speak and I can't distinguish between generations. For instance, when I met the elders, I didn't know to call the uncle or the uncle. In fact, according to this method, all the people in the team could be called like a family.
The car stopped and the family arrived. The exterior of the house was not painted with cement, and no white-washed tiles were attached to the front of the house. This made me feel that the house was not beautiful. Mom took out the key and went to open the door. I got off to help mention those big bags. These items are something that parents and parents are not willing to throw and must bring it back. After several consecutive trips, the car was removed. At this time I was already upstairs. My mother shouted in the kitchen downstairs: Song Jun Erwa, which one of you to pick up some water? I will answer without hesitation: I will go. The well that is not far from the house has been for years, and it has existed since I remembered it. Fetching water is not far, but climbing from the well to the house is uphill. You need to walk a little path first, then walk along the mud road for a while, then go up a small slope and reach the kitchen.
Before coming to the well, the manhole cover was uncovered, and his right wrist was not cured yet. The water in the well was relatively shallow. I left the bucket with my hand and leaned down and squatted along the side of the well and filled it with a bucket. For a long time he did not lift heavy objects. The two buckets of water were tingling on their shoulders. I had to trobble. Until the water is poured into the tank, I'm panting. Repeated several times in a row, the burning tingling on the shoulders, gasping for breath.
At this time, my heart was very worried about my grandmother's house. After all, half of the 27 years I lived, I spent about half of my time at the grandmother's house. I asked my mother about her grandmother's house. Mom said we were on the way to weeds. It was difficult for people to pass. At the time, I did not take it for granted. I thought that what Mom said was an exaggeration. It wasn’t until I went to Yanzhou to see my grandparents. When I walked on those roads, the sight before me shocked me. Barren fields and narrow roads are covered by dense weeds. Waist-looking weeds make it hard for me to walk. In some places, weeds can even submerge my height of one meter seven. Finally, I pushed the thick weeds by hand first, and then we took the weeds down with our feet. This was repeated and finally came out. I stood high and looked at the pine forest that had just passed. I had made up my mind in mind, and I would rest in the pine forest when I returned.
In fact, my mood at that time was very complicated. I was always more upset about things and things. I didn't think too much and I continued to move forward. The road ahead was covered by weeds in addition to a small section of the trail. Fortunately weeds were not as lush as they were before. As I got closer, I was a little nervous. I thought of the dog in my grandmother's house. When she came home from school each time she came to school, it would fly and greet me. Turning around and finally seeing my grandmother's home. Due to the denseness of the bamboo forest, it is not clear.
At the foot of my feet is a piece of soil where my grandmother used to plant vegetables. I remember that when I first came back from Anhui, the place where I first saw my grandmother was this place. At that time I was only about five years old. I walked in front of me and my grandmother was in this place. She bent over in the soil and she saw me and got up and smiled at me. So far, the action that Grandma got up to has been fixed in the memory of my world.
Looking at the road ahead, I stopped. I was a bit disappointed. I was alone in this quiet wilderness. Suddenly I felt lonely and confused. Like the weeds in front of me, this crazy interpretation of the ruthlessness of the years.
Everything around me changed. Grandma’s former neighbors, the old grandfather and the oldest grandmother, had moved since the grandfather’s grandmother had moved away. The roof tiles are still prominent, and some houses have begun to collapse due to lack of refurbishment and conservation. All the walls were traces of rain. Broken tiles were piled on the ground. Make the silence here a little dead.
Finally, I walked to the grandmother’s bamboo forest. There was a piece of land here. When I was a child, I liked to plant some things here, such as white chrysanthemums and bloody vegetables, and also planted Houttuynia and a grapefruit tree. Up to three meters tall, my wrists have my wrists. One of the things that made me feel rewarding was the sweet potatoes that I once planted. I cut the red vines and cut them in the ground. That would do. The unexpected thing was that when I came to dig sweet potatoes, the sweet potatoes grew up to the size of a fist. This made me happy.
Walking into the bamboo forest, the sound of the rustling of bamboo leaves mixed with the sound of the wind, the sky was shrouded in bamboo trees on top of the head, and occasionally there were a few bamboo leaves swirling and dancing, and then I was unwilling to fall on the ground with my general heart.
The bamboo on the ground is already very thick, like a layer of clay that was peeled off by years, and the kind of illusion that treads on the top is soft, and this illusion occasionally stings my memory like a sharp knife. Passing through the bamboo forest, I saw that the grandmother's house was full of weeds. The road weeds were more crazy and more flooding than before. There are still a few small trees in it. I can't even pass it. I closed my eyes and my heart finally returned home.
In more than two years, such a huge change made me still somewhat unacceptable. Listening to her grandmother said that both the old grandfather and her grandfather had already passed away. Then he thought about the differences between his grandparents and the appearances of the previous two years. I had to admit that grandfather grandmother was really old.
Standing on the side of the dam, I did not move forward. I looked around at everything and used memories to control everything in front of me. On the side of the dam are three cherry trees, which are also old. Next to the cherry tree were two grapes I planted. One was a young grape, and the other a purple grape. Their vines are very thick, just because nobody cares, they are stumbling and they have no rules. In my heart, I decided to wait until my parents returned home. I transplanted these two grapes to my home. I remember that when I planted these two grapes, I was studying high school in Zhenglong Town. That year happened to be 2018. I never thought that I was separated from the two grapes for ten years.
The side of the dam is a partial house with a toilet inside. Next to the swine pig sty, I seem to see my grandmother standing outside the pigsty. She is holding a broken bamboo pole in her hand and yelling at the newly purchased pork bun. : Hey urine below. I couldn't help laughing at this thought.
When the sty passed, the cow circle came. When the grandfather had a buffalo, the grandfather led the buffalo to the plow field. The grandmother was responsible for holding the sickle and carrying the rake to the burrow. Plowing field is based on "picking" to calculate the money. In simple terms, it is a "pick" that can produce an area of picking rice. Plowfield has extra income. Because of this, every new year will have a metropolitan area. My brother and I bought a new set of clothes and new shoes.
I walked to the front door and wanted to go in and see it. Unfortunately, no one opened the door for me. Close your eyes, everything in the house I can quickly restore with my own rich imagination. From the location of the objects to several tables and chairs, to the buckets and chopsticks, to the posters I posted on the walls, all the impressions are clear, static, and seemingly never changed.
Going to the door, I gently knocked the door a few times. No one answered in the door, and I knocked a few more times, still so. When I raised my hand for the third time to knock on the door, I hesitated, holding my hand up in the air, then slowly letting go. Know where my grandparents have gone? I still ask myself in my heart: Where have they been?
At this point the heart was already dead, and the messy thoughts became numb. I'm walking in the same place, but I have no intention to leave. I may still be waiting for my grandmother to make a pot of maggot egg soup. I may still wait until my grandmother pulls her sister-in-law to call for a meal. I may still be waiting for someone to tell me that everything is an illusion.
Finally, I decided to leave. I felt a bit heavy and stumbled all the way. The grandma's house is farther and farther away from me. It feels like I'm standing still and the grandma's house is getting farther and farther away from me. From beginning to end, I believe that I am still in place, but only the grandmother's house was left behind with time.
The pine forests appeared before the eyes. The pine forest with dozens of pine trees whistled in the mountain breeze. From afar, the pines rolled gently and rolled from ten years ago to ten years. It rolled from now to ten years later.
Into the pine forest, pine needles fall from time to time, like rusty roots, tied to the ground. It is also like the line that the root is cut off by years, knowing that it is impossible to go back to memory, but it is a journey to the years. I sit back against the pine trees and look into the distance. The mountain breeze was still blowing my face and the pine forest. I closed my eyes and Songtao beat me on the shore in the years of the river. I walked along the years of the river, and Songtao remained, and my body and mind were exhausted. Grey-haired.
May 13th, 2018, 20 in Chengdu, Zhu Hongchu