In a relay game, two spectators were talking. A: Hello! Why does the front one run so fast? B: Of course it's fast. Don't you see the guy behind you want to hit him with a stick? A migrant laborer had no way to go to the hospital for a checkup. After the doctor checked, he gave a prescription to the person. When the migrant worker came to the drug collection department, he saw a roll of toilet paper. The doctor said: Do not re
A man was in a car accident. The doctor told him that his left leg must be amputated. When he woke up from a coma, the doctor said to him: I have good news and bad news. Let's start with bad news. Our surgery was wrong. Legs, cut off your good leg. The good news is that your other leg condition has improved, and no need to amputate. One day, the son returned home and said: Dad, 60 points today. Dad: Next time
User: I bought your network card. How do I use it? 10001 Understand it and find that the other person does not know much about computer knowledge. Be patient and teach it from scratch: Please open my computer. User: Hey, your computer. How can I open it? 10001 (almost fainted): Then open your computer. User: My computer is open
A man said to the neighbor: Do you want to go to a masquerade again? You know, today's show is still yesterday's show! Yes, I know, but I don't wear a dress yesterday. Is the pig's English spelling PUG? No, it's PIG. No, how do I remember it? U(YOU) Yeah, you made a mistake. It's i!
Obesity's physics teacher did an experiment to make students understand the phenomenon of light refraction. She fills the glass with water and asks: Suppose I am a sunbeam and insert water. What is the result? One student replied: Water overflows! It was not something that was pretentious to China’s foreign professor Tong Yang’s teaching of Chinese lessons to students. He said that Chinese people called things like things, such as tables and chairs, televisions, etc.; but there were students.
In a small rural village, there was a woman who was found to be an unfilial wife, but she did not always admit it. One day, she could not stand the criticism of others and shouted: Who said I am not filial piety? A few days ago my mother-in-law was sick and I chewed and ate her to eat it! Others asked: Is that right? Then we You blamed you, what did you feed her? The wife answered: I chewed the sugar cane to feed her!
If you feel distressed in your heart, call 俺 俺! Talk about feelings, please press 1 to talk about work, please press 2 to talk about life, please press 3 to give us an introduction. Please press 4 to ask for dinner. Please talk, find money, and hang up. One day, I told you that you were a pig. You said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally one day you couldn't help but live in front of everyone and announced loudly: I'm not a pig!
A good-hearted person often gives some money to his family near the house. One day, he said: Sir, you gave me 10 dollars each time two years ago, and last year you reduced it to 5 dollars. This year, there is only one US dollar. Why? That person Say: I was a bachelor two years ago. I was married last year. I have children this year. I had to save money for family life. I heard angry saying: How can you use my money to feed your family?
In a college basketball game, the last championship history team and the computer team entered the final. Before the game, play posters to help each other. History Department Cloud: History proves that history has amazing similarities! Computer Department Cloud: Public opinion is that computer will rewrite history. The placard of the advertisement, the report below the mouth of the report is half of the word; The above cow is half of the word. The meaning of this word is that many advertisements
One day, a president suddenly whim, intending to visit a mental hospital. After receiving the notice, the director of the mental hospital ordered him to step up preparations. In order to please the president, he also strictly trained the patients in the hospital to welcome him and warmly applaud them. The President came, and the enthusiastic applause of the patients made him very satisfied. Suddenly, the president asked the president: Why did you not applause just now? Dean
An indigestion patient complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. What to eat, what to eat, how to eat cucumbers, how to eat cucumbers, and how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat it. To marry a house! The bees are wildly chasing butterflies and butterflies are married to snails. Bees are puzzled: Where is he better than me? The butterfly replied: How do people have their own house?
Someone is joking with a hypocritical and ugly priest: Do you praise God every day in order to reward him for creating a handsome face for you? Although I look very ugly, the priest said proudly, but God has given me as much knowledge as your hair. Is this true? The man said, taking off his hat, and seeing, I was bald.
Jack went to a bar to hire a guard. The manager of the bar asked: Did you have any experience? Of course, Jack looked around and saw a drunk man coming over. He immediately grabbed him and kicked him out, and then he gloated. Manager: May I see the general manager? I think you may have to wait a little longer because he has just been kicked out by you.
A young man falls in love with a girl, and finally the girl becomes his fiancee. The girl had a birthday on this day and the young man wanted to send a present. He came to the shop and saw diamonds and jewelry. But they are too expensive. Suddenly the young man saw a vase. The vase was so beautiful that it was more appropriate for the young man to send it to his fiancée. But it is still so expensive for young people to watch for a long time
First-floor occupants do not know where to get a big dog. When it arrived, it was very vigilant, and it was mad when it was a little bit loud. My home is on the sixth floor. Although I go to the floor every day, I'm going to be mad. I was so brave that the dog called me and I ran hard for fear that it would burst out. On Sunday, I went to pick up my sister who was attending an English training class to have dinner at home. Just entered the first floor,
An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hey! You listen well and take a deep breath. I need to power off for five minutes! One night, a naked man called a taxi. The female driver stared at him with a constant gaze. The naked man was furious and said, "You've never seen a naked man!" The female driver is also furious: I see where your mother is getting money! A patient sang in bed and started to sing
In the freshman year, he discovered that there were insects and the whole bowl of rice fell down. In his sophomore year, he found a worm and picked out the worms to continue eating. In his junior year, he found a worm that was eaten without any insects. : No insects found, protest, no insects eat dinner! During graduate studies: I found an insect, sighed, and I was too monotonous. When I was reading: I found only insects, and I felt that the school food had improved.
Driver: I don't think it's OK. What is it? I have been doing this for ten years. The passengers never said a word and were displeased with me! Guest: Is it? What car do you drive? Driver: hearse! There is a professor who quarrels with his wife. His wife is a shrew and she is very deaf. The professor will not be embarrassed. His angry shout: Idem! Ibid!